The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Damn victory sex feels great
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
