I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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