There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
whose parrot is this?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
