You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Panties = found
Randomize
