she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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