I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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