so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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