i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
