Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize