I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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