White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
