Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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