hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
