NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
