Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
