Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
