He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
