oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
