There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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