i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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