oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
time to smoke my breakfast
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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