dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
