this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
