coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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