Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
