Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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