Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
