also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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