I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
