in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
