Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
