he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
