who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
