I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
