stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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