new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize