This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
