i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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