you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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