I'm gonna have a badass scar
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
