She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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