i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize