No awkward lesbian experiences without me
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
