found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
