bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
