i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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