do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
