we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
