i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just cut my nipple shaving
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
