loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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