never play flip cup with pint glasses
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
