I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
