I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
