is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
