She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Nobody cheats on THIS.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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