the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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