I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
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