HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
