I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
