Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
