You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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