Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize