i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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